[[*---Still I Rise---*]]

Thursday, March 31, 2005

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I'm headed to the beach for a much needed spring break vacation!! You guys have lots of fun (..but not too much w/o me!!) I promised myself not to log on the computer while away so I'll be back on the 10th!!!

[[ Branched ]]*|23:12|

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

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i went jogging last night instead of using the tread mill. i found out that 7pm is not a good time to jog. you know why? because everyone eats dinner at seven. the first day i decide to get back in shape, everyone else decides to grill out and have a bbq. i could smell grilling marinated meats for hundreds of yards... and then some other wonderful dinner soon after. it was horrible! i wanted to stop running but if i did, it would mean a much longer time getting home to eat, so i RAN! i'd have to say, it was a good motivator. i had gone further than i had realized. it seems far in the car... it seems FURTHER on foot. yes... believe you me. it's funny how when i think people are watching, i totally run harder and faster.

i really need to get in shape. it's a bad sign when you have grab-able rolls hanging over your waistline. or at least it's bad when you've never had them. it's ok if you've always had them. i'm just not used to them. i really don't have a problem weighing a little more if i had the wardrobe for it. pants can only stretch so much when they weren't intended to stretch in the first place. such stress!!

[[ Branched ]]*|07:24|

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

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i miss people. missing people is sad because that means that they cannot be there with you when you wish they could be. *gasp*... right here waiting for you by richard marx just came on the radio. sadness really... home alone on a saturday afternoon after one amazing night last night!! why can't i be satisfied??? it's Easter weekend and even though Easter isn't really a holiday like a birthday, it's more of a celebration of our life and i should feel blessed, i feel good but not complete. man, i'm 31 and i never thought i'd be this age and here it is and i know no more about myself today than i did 31 years ago. something seriously has GOT to give...and soon!!

[[ Branched ]]*|13:39|

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

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why am i taking a first responders class in which i do not wish to pursue?
why do i stress about having a squishy tummy?
why do i still periodically wish my hair were different?
why do i cry when i watch "a wedding story" on TLC?
why do i always need new clothes?
why do i drink?
why do i still sometimes think it's just a "phase"?
why do i have this craving to have babies and parties?
why can't money solve most of my problems?
why am i surprised when my numbers don't match the winning numbers?
why do i feel bad when i don't do well?
why do i always want more?

fucking ISSUES. . . . fuck it all !

~~~~~
on a happier note, i went to the store today just b/c i was bored and i enjoy looking at the things they do w/ all the Easter candy. i realized that i NEEDED candy so i bought 3 bags of chocolate candy, a chocolate covered apple and a bag of candy corn. the cashier gave me this funny look and i told her that i was stocking up for my period and she laughed, i laughed. i think every girl understands.

[[ Branched ]]*|18:13|

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Sunday, March 20, 2005

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Jens daffodils make me happy.
It is so beautiful outside, I fear I have no choice but to play hooky from going to my parents...
Instead I shall frolic in a white skirt and slippers and pigtails and head to town for vanilla SnoCones!! Did you know that if you mix vanilla and cream w/ your SnoCones that it taste like homemade ice cream?!?!

[[ Branched ]]*|14:39|

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Friday, March 18, 2005

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The Whiptail Lizard

For the whiptail lizard, there's a good reason why a good man is hard to find: there aren't any. All whiptail lizards are female. They reproduce through an unusual process called parthenogenesis, or virgin birth.

All of their eggs are genetic duplicates, clones of the female. The lady lizards still have some romance, though. Two females will court to induce egg laying, taking turns playing "the male."

oooh la la!!!

[[ Branched ]]*|14:17|

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

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THIS entire ordeal has me extremely stressed!!

[[ Branched ]]*|14:24|

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Monday, March 07, 2005

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I have been feeling odd and alone in a way I don't quite understand. I had strange dreams last night pervaded by fear and betrayal and panic and helplessness. Some days there is a nervous swelling in my stomach at random moments, as if I am anticipating an important test or a verdict of some sort of punishment. As if there is something I'm not prepared for, or am preparing for without being aware of it. Lately I open my mouth and cringe at the way my words sound, detached and foreign, like something vital is lost in the translation of feeling to thought and thought to words. I want to hike up a very big mountain. I want to row a boat until my arms give out. I want to scream in a padded room. My weakness astounds me at times.

[[ Branched ]]*|14:20|

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Thursday, March 03, 2005

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Haven't posted in awhile....so I thought I'd steal Rico's idea and post 100 things about me!

100. I am a natural red head.

99. I love extra sharp cheddar cheese.

98. I always wear matching panties and bras.

97. My favorite color is yellow.

96. Send me a fresh flower arrangement over roses, any day!!

95. I’ve used nasal spray every day since I was 14.

94. My first car was a mustang.

93. I used to have hundreds of Ralph Macchio posters in my bedroom.

92. My bedroom was once painted purple.

91. I’m a spoiled brat.

90. I hate wearing shoes.

89. Music is my best form of therapy.

88. I could live off of cheese pizza’s and cheese quesadillas

87. I love bubblegum and always have a piece in my mouth.

86. I do like yellow roses.

85. I’m a very sarcastic kinda girl….

84. With a very big heart!!

83. I would go to great lengths for a friend.

82. I always feel a need to feel accepted.

81. I have attempted suicide on numerous occasions.

80. I don’t understand how television ratings are determined.

79. I have never had a cavity.

78. I had my tonsils taken out when I was 14.

77. My grandfather is a ordained minister of the gospel.

76. I graduated high school when I was 17.

75. I like French vanilla capuchino.

74. I don’t drink coffee.

73. I took piano lessons for 6 years.

72. I was voted friendliest by my senior class.

71. I love handwritten things.

70. I love babies especially, but children in general.

69. I got married when I was 19.

68. I have many regrets, BUT…

67. I’ve learned from most of them.

66. I have one sister who is five years younger than I am.

65. I have twin nieces that are 14 months old.

64. I party too much for my age.

63. I could so easily be addicted to prescription drugs.

62. I’ve never been in a physical fight.

61. I am horrified of birds.

60. I don’t like red meat.

59. I usually fall asleep during movies.

58. My favorite place to be is at the beach!

57. My reason for living is my son.

56. My parents have been married for 34 years.

55. I don’t smoke.

54. I enjoy cooking…and I can actually do it!!!

53. When I was a little girl, I helped my grandfather in the garden.

52. My graduation gift from my parents was a Mitsubitshi Eclipse.

51. I hate waiting..on anything or anybody!

50. I regret starting this list.

49. I have had blonde highlights since I was 16.

48. I am 31 years old.

47. I went to a two year college before I went to the University of Georgia.

46. I love football.

45. I’m a pretty diverse kind of person.

44. I’ll try anything at least once.

43. I love music, of all genres.

42. I can’t sleep w/o the radio.

41. I hate Chinese food.

40. I’m not a big shopper.

39. I’ve lived in Georgia all my life.

38. I love scented candles.

37. I’m not really an animal lover.

36. I love wearing baseball caps w/ a pony tail!

35. I’m donating my organs when I die.

34. I don’t believe in the “red light” traffic ticket law.

33. I can’t keep a secret.

32. I have a French manicure.

31. I love taking pictures.

30. I took 4 years of Spanish, but still can’t speak the language.

29. My favorite scent at Bath & Body Works is Cucumber Melon.

28. I just bought new perfume by Tommy…it’s Beyonce’s True Star.

27. I love fruity pebbles cereal.

26. I’m a very picky eater.

25. My favorite liquor is crown and sprite.

24. I’m not sure if #25 is correct.

23. I’m a good listener…(I think)

22. I hate computers.

21. I just noticed that most of these start w/ the word, “I”.

20. I sell books on amazon.

19. I don’t wear lipstick very often…just blistex or vanilla tasting bonnie bell lip gloss.

18. I don’t drink tea…hot or cold.

17. I take it personal when someone says I’m “nuts” : P

16. My best friend died when we were 16.

15. Too many close friends have died!!!

14. I often wonder if I have a spirit guide.

13. I’d like to meet my higher power.

12. If my feet are warm, then my entire body is warm…..but

11. If my feet are cold, then my entire body is cold.

10. I don’t like salt on my food.

9. I still don’t know what NATO stands for.

8. I’m so glad I’m in the single digits.

7. The furthest I’ve been from Georgia is the Bahamas.

6. My most interesting trip was to Washington.

5. I don’t know how to use my security system.

4. I’m going to the mountains this weekend.

3. I don’t like the mountains.

2. I don’t own a credit card.

1. I’m impressed if you actually read all of these!!

[[ Branched ]]*|10:52|

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