[[*---Still I Rise---*]]

Monday, October 31, 2005

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yesterday i spent the most amazing day with one of the most amazing guys i know....

a couple of setbacks though....
-he seems to have become a very devout but liberal christian over the past few months
-he's got a girlfriend
-he seems to have become a very!!!! devout christian over the past few months
-he doesn't drink anymore
-he's got a girlfriend!!!!

these are not horrible things in themselves but it makes him very untouchable.... which is even worse because now i feel like i want him even more. wait..did i just say that? "i want jay even more?" wow! jay is my friend, my bud, my pal, my rock....isn't he? i mean, isn't that what i've always wanted? isn't that what i told him over and over and over? was i the one who convinced him that attempting to have a relationship, beyond friendship, was the wrong thing to do b/c it would change our friendship forever...in ways that we'd never feel the same? yeah, i guess i was. hmmm, now that it seems that i've convinced him, it's going to be even harder to convince myself.

he stopped by yesterday just to chat for awhile since he was in town. he said he was worried about me because there have been some supposed sexual assaults very close to where i live. i say 'supposed' because they say the girl made up the whole story. that makes me very angry. girls who cry rape make crying rape less valid, less believable. it's not funny. it's SICK!

it was cool talkin to jay....it's always cool talking to jay. he exposes me to a lot of stuff that i like that i would not otherwise know about except for instances of blind luck and the occasional friend's random mention of such things. hmmmm....jay has a girlfriend now!! i mean, he seems happy. he looks happy. he sounds happy. a true friend should be happy for him, right?? RIGHT????? oh well, maybe it's better this way.

[[ Branched ]]*|18:03|

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

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I usually don't post about things like this, but I've had some outside influences on me recently. *Ahem* I got THIS THING as a gift and it is the sort of thing that you just HAVE to share w/ your friends so they can experience the same type of pleasure. This is totally corrupting me.... turning me into the slut I never thought I would become. EVERYONE needs one of these. Sex has never been so .....well, lets just say you won't stop with just one.

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

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recently, i was informed by a fellow blogger that my font was entirely too small and hard to read. he actually told me that he had to use a magnifying glass or wear his coke bottle glasses if he ever had the desire to read my blog. growing up, my parents always taught me to appreciate constructive criticism. I'm a firm believer in respecting my elders, and I'm all about pleasing...so the new LARGE and BOLD font is dedicated to anyone and everyone who's had a hard time reading my blog in the past and never brought it to my attention!! (btw...if there's anything else i can do for you mr biggus dickus, feel free to let me know )

you've heard this from me before i'm sure, but i despise friday night television. i think everything happens for a reason, so they make the programming bad on purpose to force you to go out and drink yourself into a coma, to erase the week and the day. i would like two more ~~crite and sprown~~ crown and sprite, (okay, maybe just one more), some good sex and then a cigarette!... but not really a cigarette coz i don't smoke....the surgeon general says it's hazardous to your health. it sounded nice though.

i just noticed the time....what in the hell am i doing up at 3:50am?

[[ Branched ]]*|03:50|

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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i'm addicted to music, i can't deny that. but i'm also addicted to media, specifically, audio media. i enjoy jogging to books on tape, driving to books on tape, and lounging to novels. (but then I usually fall asleep) i feel like i've been wasting time reading with my eyes when i could have been painting my toe nails or shaving my legs or something more productive... i think i'm one mammoth bottle of crown short of requiring an intervention. i think i'll write a letter to david sedaris telling him how refreshing it is that he makes me feel like it's ok to drink liquor for breakfast.

[[ Branched ]]*|23:32|

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Monday, October 24, 2005

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It seems as though debauchery plays a bigger and bigger role every Halloween. i've been invited to a Halloween party this weekend at this kick ass club. I usually don't dress up for Halloween, but it's really the only day out of 365 that I can get totally out of character. Last year, I was a hooker and it was great!! This year, I can't decide whether to do the hooker thing again or be a gogo-girl; long white hair, a short & funky pink/orange/white dress, and 4 inch white fuck-me platforms.

[[ Branched ]]*|20:32|

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

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With everything bad that is going on in the world today.....from terrorism to tsunami's to hurricanes.....I think everyone should come together and join me in Masturbating for Peace

[[ Branched ]]*|23:23|

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

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Thanks for the mail peeps. I know I’ve been horrible in keeping up w/ blogs lately. I bow my head in shame. Honestly, I think about you guys often!! My goal for this week is to catch up on all my blog reading. BUT, if you want to give me a good head start…..

Butterfly: your kids are amazingly funny (and smart). How did the trip to the dentist go? Did you get good drugs?? How’s your sister??

Chester: where are you working now? Have you been on any trips lately?? Do you still love pi? lol

Foreverfooled: are you enjoying the photo lab? i've always wondered what kind of pictures i'd come across if i worked at a photo lab.

Grace: how are you miss creativity? Still writing, I hope.

In My Life: I have tried to read or comment on your blog…why can’t I?

Intellectualsuperbeast: Did you stay awake for 72 hours?? I hope you’re enjoying school and I hope your love life is better than mine!!

Mizliciouss: I’ll forever remember your “why women are crabby” post. It helped me realize that I was just being crabby and not bitchy at all!! Do you and butterfly plan to publish your story aside from the blog?!

MyBlog: what’s up w/ your disappearing act??

Plainoldregular: I miss your blog. Despite what your brother thinks, I found your post to be extremely “REAL” and inspirational!!

Rico: Hugs and kisses. That’s about all I can say to you, hottie!!

Techieidiot: Do you like your new job?? Well, maybe it’s not still, “new.”

Rucker: I’ve listened to your music…loved it! Let me know if you plan to tour in Georgia. I’ll hook you up! ;-)

The Saga Continues: I know you have a blog…somewhere. I’m going to find it before the week is up!

Untitled: You just dropped your blog like yesterdays trash! It couldn’t be THAT bad, could it?

Uponthesoapbox: I’m sure I’ve lost tons of valuable, political information by not keeping up w/ your blog. I do hope you’re still in love, along w/ posting about every political debate imaginable!

I promise, I read more of your blogs than the ones I just commented about. I'm just too lazy to link you! You know laziness is my strong trait, but I'm working on it. I PROMISE!

[[ Branched ]]*|23:26|

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I've been pretty depressed lately. It's been great. Except not at all. I'm so pissed at myself for being so damn emo. I blame genetics. It's just easier that way. But seriously. It's sucked a lot. I'd forgotten what it was like to feel this low.

Before I post this ridiculous thing, I'm sorry Ben. I did not forget about explaining my viewpoint WITH support from outside sources. I've just been, well, out of it, you could say. I don't mean to be so flaky, even on this thing. At least for now, don't expect any sort of greatness. ha. I still love and respect you just as much but I need to be superficial and silly right now. It helps bring me back to earth. And earth is nice.

FIRSTS

First best friend: Nicole (Coelie)

First Car: Mustang...which was fatally demolished

First kiss: Chris

First piercing/tattoo: Ears

First big trip: The beach, when I was 1 month.

First flight: Atlanta to Miami

First time skiing/Snowboarding: never

First concert: can't remember

First Alcoholic Drink: Matilda Bay....awwwww!

First ticket violation: never!

First job: video store

First date: dinner and a movie. i think it was one of the halloween movies.

LASTS

Last car ride: A few hours ago when a drunk man who had fallen off a six-month sobriety wouldn't let us leave the parking lot.

Last time you cried: Yesterday? Or the day before I think.

Last movie watched: Hitch...I know, I'm behind.

Last food you ate: popcorn

Last love: my dog, Hershey!!

Last temptation: I was tempted to "crawling in my skin! these wounds they will not he-yeal!"

Last item bought: shitload of groceries

Last annoyance: the drunk guy in the parking lot

Last time wanting to die: Probably a few days ago. Ugh @ emo shit.

Last alcoholic drink: can't remember...but probably summer wine @ chateu elan.

Last concert: don't remember

Last phone call: Jill

Last time at the mall: Saturday

NOW

Current Best Friend: Jill

Current Car: '03 Toyota Camery

Current love: my dog, Hershey

Current drink: SOBE Zen Tea Orange Spice with a blend of ginseng, ginkgo guarana and hibiscus to fool me into believing I'm healthier for drinking it.

Current activity: This damn thing.

Current annoyance: Not knowing what to do with the rest of my life. And my current depression. I mean, depression man. What the fuckity fuck?

Current mood: All over the place.

[[ Branched ]]*|10:49|

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